PostSecret: Confessions on Life, Death and God from Frank Warren on Vimeo.
I read Post Secret every sunday. This video was moving - it gets really deep around 3:30. Favorite lines: "You know all those books I don't let you read?" "Yeah..." "They are all love poems about you." and "I think death is a beautiful part of life."
Nearing the end of Drops Like Stars Rob Bell says this “When the tomorrow we assumed would be tomorrow changes we must be ready to deal with a different tomorrow.” Drops Like Stars is billed as two-hour exploration into the inexplicable link between creativity and pain. A link that I have seen throughout my life and the life of others around me. What I did not know is that not long after Rob said those words I would be facing a tomorrow other than the one I assumed.
I had coffee with my mentor today. We talked about pain and hurt, and how God prepares us for the coming trials. He said that it seems like God often puts down padding, knowing that we are going to stumble, and he tries to prevent us from hurting too much. Rob Bell and Drops Like Stars were very much God throwing down some foam mats. I was completely unawares that my world was soon going to come crashing down, I had no clue, but some how God did.
It was utter irony, or divine providence that less than forty-eight hours after Rob had spoken those words. Forty-eighty hours after I had heard those words as a frame to understand past pain, and filed them away to say to others. Less than forty-eight hours later I resigned my position of authority at my Bible College, and I had started the process that would lead to me being suspended a week after Rob said those words. I made some foolish decisions which lead me down a path to some serious moral failings, causing a tomorrow to dawn that I did not assume.
The words that I “mmhhmmed” as I scribbled them down, these words suddenly took on meaning, because I woke up and they became my words. It’s been about a month and a half since everything happened. It’s been a month and a half of new tomorrows. Years of assumed tomorrows have changed. It has been one of the toughest six weeks of my life, and I know that I have a long journey of restoration ahead of me, a journey that I wouldn’t mind having company on.
I’ve been meaning to start blogging again, and the same mentor who talked about padding told me that my voice would be good on a blog right now. So I find myself trying to express my thoughts onto a lit screen, hoping that someone might want to read them. My point through all of this is more an exercise in self-examination rather than a dissemination of information. Though, I do hope that someone might get a little help from something I happen to say. I have a lot of good ideas for the blog, including an interaction with Donald Miller’s new book, some art I’ve been creating, and just some insights from my journey.
In many ways I believe in the theme of this blog now more than ever – I truly see the path that leads us to Shalom with God as being truly broken and jagged. I also, more so than any other time in my life, feel the longing and hope I have for a different perfect tomorrow. There’s a Hillsong song that speaks to this called You Hold Me Now;
In this life I will stand
Through my joy and my pain
Knowing there's a greater day
There's a hope that never fails
Where Your Name is lifted high
And forever praises rise
For the glory of Your Name
I'm believing for the day
Despite dealing with a slew of new tomorrows, I take strength in the never fading hope that there is a better tomorrow way off in the distance. And like the different tomorrows I’m living in, this one will be different too. But different because it’s wholeness, restoration, completion, it’s different because it’s shalom
Grace and Peace,
Justin Friel
©2009 Justin Friel, all rights reserved
So last night I watched American Teen The Movie, a documentary following five seniors from small town Indiana. In essence it was an hour and half long episode of The Hills. Except unlike the Hills American teen followed a cross section of the High School culture. They had the jock, the rich snob, the artsty rebel, the quite nerd, and the jock with a soft side. Despite the staged dialogue, the catty high school drama, and the awkward animated cut aways, the documentary did offer a poignant portrayal of the high school experience.
As I was watching the documentary I thought back to the last couple of years of my high school career. American Teen focused on the teens vying for which school they would attention for college, who they would go to prom with, then of course graduation. My last year of high school was unique in comparison to most of the people I went to school with, as well as very unique in comparison to the teens of American Teen.
First of all I only went to the fall semester of my senior year. I graduate in December so that I could go down to Guatemala. So I missed out on many of the rites of passage involved with the senior year. I didn’t walk at graduation; I didn’t go to my senior prom. I also didn’t have to worry about what college was going to accept me. I applied to only one college, visited only one college, and that college at the time had something like 95% acceptance rate. Good ole JBC!
However, I’ve had my own rites of passage that, for me, mark the passage from high school to beyond. The first would be when I moved out of my father’s house, into my brother and sister-in-law’s house, then into an apartment with my mom (all within a five week span). Then there was the thanksgiving with my mom’s side of the family not too long after my Grandma won her fight with lung cancer. Then there is going to Guatemala and living in a foreign country for four months right as I was turning eighteen.
I didn’t have the traditional, stereotypical, high school rites of passage. There were times when I regretted – no, rather I missed – not having these traditional experiences. However, as I’ve matured, as my late high school and early college years are separated from the present more and more. I can look back and appreciate that I took a different road – and not wanting to go into a triad of clichés I’ll stop that line of thought. The experience that have marked the last four to five years of my life are unique to me. They are what make me who I am. I wouldn’t trade them for the life of American Teen The Movie – no I wouldn’t trade them for nothing.
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Grace and Peace
Justin Friel
Exponential #2 - Main Session with Erwin McManus
- Started out with a solid worship service from the band at True North Community Church a three year old plant from Long Island.
– Then came an amazing dance from The Urban Poets a dance team from Mosaic out in LA
– Then came a video from Tim Keller planter of Redeemer Presbyterian about church planting
– Followed by another dance by The Urban Poets
– Then came Erwin McManus
Thoughts on Erwin’s Teaching
Erwin preached from the story of Paul speaking at Mars Hill in Athens. From the story Erwin extrapolated three spaces. The First space is the space of the church, where we belong, and what we know. The second space is the space of the market place. The third space is the place were we can only be invited.
One of many things that Erwin said that were very moving for me: “We need a church planting movement, a social movement, a human movement that is motivated by love. Not motivated by self”…“Love covers a multitude of irrelevance” Erwin argued here that when a movement is based and motivated by love the things that separate us, the things that mark us as different fade away. Not in a way that we all become grey blobs, but rather that they are no longer things that divide or separate.
– You can’t tell me that people aren’t open in the 2nd space. They just don’t have people they can trust to be open with.
– There are people searching everywhere for people who have the presence of Jesus – and you can’t fake this
– The truth in the matter is that those of us that grew up in church, went to bible college are too afraid of the world.
– We have lost the ability to relate to the world
– Jesus died the most heroic death in history so that we can live our most heroic lives.
The 3rd place is essentially (from what I perceive) the juxtaposition of the 1st and 2nd space. The Third place is not something that can be created, it is only something that we can be invited to.
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Justin Friel
Grace and Peace
I’m here at the Exponential Church Planting Conference in Orlando. Exponential has become the largest meeting of Church planters in North America. Right now I’m listening to Mark Nelson the lead pastor of Crossings Knoxville talk about his experience starting Crossings. Crossings was in many ways conceived at this very conference three years ago, so Mark speaking here is very poignant. I never grow tired of hearing Crossings’ story, mainly because the story of Crossings has become my story, especially now that I will be joining Crossings as an intern this summer.
It is very exciting to be at a conference like this; surrounded by thousands of other people like me who see church planting as an essential task in the 21st century world. I am truly blessed to be here with my church planting class from JBC. We were given the opportunity to attend the conference at a very cheap rate as long as we also did some volunteer work for them. Attending the conference for almost free is very much worth packing welcome bags, and sitting outside for three hours sayings “through these doors up the stairs to the third floor,” or “faith hall is over there.” I look forward to what God is going to do through this conference. Look for my periodic blog postings throughout the week.
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Grace and Peace
Justin Friel
The first time I read Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller I was struck by how Don described his journey of faith in chapter one. This is what Don said: “I am early in my story, but I believe I will stretch out into eternity, and in heaven I will reflect upon these early days, these days when it seemed God was down a dirt road, walking toward me. Years ago He was a swinging speck in the distance; now He is close enough I can hear His singing. Soon I will see the lines on His face.”
We Christians find ourselves walking along a dirt road towards God. A lot of Christians say that the Christian life is "walking the straight and narrow". I get what they are saying. That might be their story, that might be their path. I know that that my road, my journey has been anything but straight and easy road.
My road is crooked, bent, bumpy, and broken broken. I’ve hike up to soaring mountaintops, only to plunge into dark, dangerous canyons and valleys. Along the road robbers are perched just waiting to beat me up and leave me on the road waiting for a Good Samaritan. Yet there are grassy plains, and easy paths through rolling hills. And I think that it is good that my road has been so broken. For me it has been vitally important to go through these valleys, to face the robbers, and to get lost. I know that I am not alone on this broken road. So many people find themselves along this broken road.
So this is where I am; on a broken road, winding my way through life. I don't know how far away God is. But it won't be long before I get to see the lines in his face. So that is what this blog is all about; me writing about my journey called life. I don't even know if anyone is going to read this, or if they will care. But the point of this is not to gain a wide reading, rather the point is to tell my story, because there is so much restoration and power in sharing your story. I invite you to come along and journey with me.
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Grace and Peace,
Justin Friel
